Church and My Father

SO today started off good so I thought. When I got to the office that all went downhill. As I told you in a few post before my father is like his mother. Well she came to visit today for no reason at all. This is what happened. Something happened and the books with the business and they got messed up. He told mom that he wasnt mad at her it was just a honest mistake. Well they were trying to figure out were it all messed up at. He asked mom like 5 times if you did something and she kept saying NO I DIDNT. So finally the last time I was tired of him asked and him not believing her I said No dad she didnt do that b/c I saw what she did. He said ok Miss Bitch. I know he only does that b/c he know that it hurt me and makes me cry. If only I could act like it doesnt bother me then I dont think that he would do it as much. I cant b/c Im just not that type of person. I think the thing that gets me the most is why would any father call their own child a bitch no matter how mad they were at them? The only thing that I can do about it is sit there and take it. He knows that and I know that. I guess its like I am his punching bag. The other thing about my father is he hardly EVER says that he is sorry for anything. Thats another thing that also hurts. I yelled at him after he called me that today. Im not saying I am sorry b/c I feel like I have nothing to say I am sorry for. I may be wrong about that but I am not the one that called myself a bitch. So my lovely dad turned to crap.

So tonight was the first night back to church from Christmas break. I didnt feel like going with everything that happened today. I always hear people say that they like being a church when they are hurting or having a bad day. When they are at church they forget about things going on. That is so true and tonight I found that out. I went in all in a bad mood still and as soon and I went in something happened and I started laughing and I forgot about my bad day. I guess its a good thing that this happened on a church day. I am thankful that I was brought up in church so I do have a place to turn to and people to turn to when things dont go well one day. I am still in a bad mood and sad about the things that happened but today made it a little better.